Come Rain or Come Shine
Come Rain or Come Shine
Kazuo Ishiguro
Faber Stories
Contents
Title Page
Come Rain or Come Shine
About Faber Stories
About the Author
Copyright
Like me, Emily loved old American Broadway songs. She’d go more for the up-tempo numbers, like Irving Berlin’s ‘Cheek to Cheek’ and Cole Porter’s ‘Begin the Beguine’, while I’d lean towards the bitter-sweet ballads – ‘Here’s That Rainy Day’ or ‘It Never Entered My Mind’. But there was a big overlap, and anyway, back then, on a university campus in the south of England, it was a near-miracle to find anyone else who shared such passions. Today, a young person’s likely to listen to any sort of music. My nephew, who starts university this autumn, is going through his Argentinian tango phase. He also likes Edith Piaf as well as any number of the latest indie bands. But in our day tastes weren’t nearly so diverse. My fellow students fell into two broad camps: the hippie types with their long hair and flowing garments who liked ‘progressive rock’, and the neat, tweedy ones who considered anything other than classical music a horrible din. Occasionally you’d bump into someone who professed to be into jazz, but this would always turn out to be of the so-called crossover kind – endless improvisations with no respect for the beautifully crafted songs used as their starting points.
So it was a relief to discover someone else, and a girl at that, who appreciated the Great American Songbook. Like me, Emily collected LPs with sensitive, straightforward vocal interpretations of the standards – you could often find such records going cheap in junk shops, discarded by our parents’ generation. She favoured Sarah Vaughan and Chet Baker. I preferred Julie London and Peggy Lee. Neither of us was big on Sinatra or Ella Fitzgerald.
In that first year, Emily lived in college, and she had in her room a portable record player, a type that was quite common then. It looked like a large hat box, with pale-blue leatherette surfaces and a single built-in speaker. Only when you raised its lid would you see the turntable sitting inside. It gave out a pretty primitive sound by today’s standards, but I remember us crouching around it happily for hours, taking off one track, carefully lowering the needle down onto another. We loved playing different versions of the same song, then arguing about the lyrics, or about the singers’ interpretations. Was that line really supposed to be sung so ironically? Was it better to sing ‘Georgia on My Mind’ as though Georgia was a woman or the place in America? We were especially pleased when we found a recording – like Ray Charles singing ‘Come Rain or Come Shine’ – where the words themselves were happy, but the interpretation was pure heartbreak.
Emily’s love of these records was obviously so deep that I’d be taken aback each time I stumbled on her talking to other students about some pretentious rock band or vacuous Californian singer-songwriter. At times, she’d start arguing about a ‘concept’ album in much the way she and I would discuss Gershwin or Harold Arlen, and then I’d have to bite my lip not to show my irritation.
Back then, Emily was slim and beautiful, and if she hadn’t settled on Charlie so early in her university career, I’m sure she’d have had a whole bunch of men competing for her. But she was never flirty or tarty, so once she was with Charlie, the other suitors backed off.
‘That’s the only reason I keep Charlie around,’ she told me once, with a dead straight face, then burst out laughing when I looked shocked. ‘Just a joke, silly. Charlie is my darling, my darling, my darling.’
Charlie was my best friend at university. During that first year, we hung around together the whole time and that was how I’d come to know Emily. In the second year, Charlie and Emily got a house-share down in town, and though I was a frequent visitor, those discussions with Emily around her record-player became a thing of the past. For a start, whenever I called round to the house, there were several other students sitting around, laughing and talking, and there was now a fancy stereo system churning out rock music you had to shout over.
Charlie and I have remained close friends through the years. We may not see each other as much as we once did, but that’s mainly down to distances. I’ve spent years here in Spain, as well as in Italy and Portugal, while Charlie’s always based himself in London. Now if that makes it sound like I’m the jet-setter and he’s the stay-at-home, that would be funny. Because in fact Charlie’s the one who’s always flying off – to Texas, Tokyo, New York – to his high-powered meetings, while I’ve been stuck in the same humid buildings year after year, setting spelling tests or conducting the same conversations in slowed-down English. My-name-is-Ray. What-is-your-name? Do-you-have-children?
When I first took up English teaching after university, it seemed a good enough life – much like an extension of university. Language schools were mushrooming all over Europe, and if the teaching was tedious and the hours exploitative, at that age you don’t care too much. You spend a lot of time in bars, friends are easy to make, and there’s a feeling you’re part of a large network extending around the entire globe. You meet people fresh from their spells in Peru or Thailand, and this gets you thinking that if you wanted to, you could drift around the world indefinitely, using your contacts to get a job in any faraway corner you fancied. And always you’d be part of this cosy, extended family of itinerant teachers, swapping stories over drinks about former colleagues, psychotic school directors, eccentric British Council officers.
In the late ’80s, there was talk of making a lot of money teaching in Japan, and I made serious plans to go, but it never worked out. I thought about Brazil too, even read a few books about the culture and sent off for application forms. But somehow I never got away that far. Southern Italy, Portugal for a short spell, back here to Spain. Then before you know it, you’re forty-seven years old, and the people you started out with have long ago been replaced by a generation who gossip about different things, take different drugs and listen to different music.
Meanwhile, Charlie and Emily had married and settled down in London. Charlie told me once, when they had children I’d be godfather to one of them. But that never happened. What I mean is, a child never came along, and now I suppose it’s too late. I have to admit, I’ve always felt slightly let down about this. Perhaps I always imagined that being godfather to one of their children would provide an official link, however tenuous, between their lives in England and mine out here.
Anyway, at the start of this summer, I went to London to stay with them. It had been arranged well in advance, and when I’d phoned to check a couple of days beforehand, Charlie had said they were both ‘superbly well’. That’s why I’d no reason to expect anything other than pampering and relaxation after a few months that hadn’t exactly been the best in my life.
In fact, as I emerged out of their local Underground that sunny day, my thoughts were on the possible refinements that might have been added to ‘my’ bedroom since the previous visit. Over the years, there’s almost always been something or other. One time it was some gleaming electronic gadget standing in the corner; another time the whole place had been redecorated. In any case, almost as a point of principle, the room would be prepared for me the way a posh hotel would go about things: towels laid out, a bedside tin of biscuits, a selection of CDs on the dressing table. A few years ago, Charlie had led me in and with nonchalant pride started flicking switches, causing all sorts of subtly hidden lights to go on and off: behind the headboard, above the wardrobe and so on. Another switch had triggered a growling hum and blinds had begun to descend over the two windows.
‘Look, Charlie, why do I need blinds?’ I’d asked that time. ‘I want to see out when I wake up. Just the curtains will do fine.’
&
nbsp; ‘These blinds are Swiss,’ he’d said, as though this were explanation enough.
But this time Charlie led me up the stairs mumbling to himself, and as we got to my room, I realised he was making excuses. And then I saw the room as I’d never seen it before. The bed was bare, the mattress on it mottled and askew. On the floor were piles of magazines and paperbacks, bundles of old clothes, a hockey stick and a loudspeaker fallen on its side. I paused at the threshold and stared at it while Charlie cleared a space to put down my bag.
‘You look like you’re about to demand to see the manager,’ he said, bitterly.
‘No, no. It’s just that it’s unusual to see it this way.’
‘It’s a mess, I know. A mess.’ He sat down on the mattress and sighed. ‘I thought the cleaning girls would have sorted all this. But of course they haven’t. God knows why not.’
He seemed very dejected, but then he suddenly sprang to his feet again.
‘Look, let’s go out for some lunch. I’ll leave a note for Emily. We can have a long leisurely lunch and by the time we come back, your room – the whole flat – will be sorted out.’
‘But we can’t ask Emily to tidy everything.’
‘Oh, she won’t do it herself. She’ll get on to the cleaners. She knows how to harass them. Me, I don’t even have their number. Lunch, let’s have lunch. Three courses, bottle of wine, everything.’
What Charlie called their flat was in fact the top two floors of a four-storey terrace in a well-to-do but busy street. We came out of the front door straight into a throng of people and traffic. I followed Charlie past shops and offices to a smart little Italian restaurant. We didn’t have a reservation, but the waiters greeted Charlie like a friend and led us to a table. Looking around I saw the place was full of business types in suits and ties, and I was glad Charlie looked as scruffy as I did. He must have guessed my thoughts, because as we sat down he said:
‘Oh, you’re so home counties, Ray. Anyway, it’s all changed now. You’ve been out of the country too long.’ Then in an alarmingly loud voice: ‘We look like the ones who’ve made it. Everyone else here looks like middle management.’ Then he leant towards me and said more quietly: ‘Look, we’ve got to talk. I need you to do me a favour.’
I couldn’t remember the last time Charlie had asked my help for anything, but I managed a casual nod and waited. He played with his menu for a few seconds, then put it down.
‘The truth is, Emily and I have been going through a bit of a sticky patch. In fact, just recently, we’ve been avoiding one another altogether. That’s why she wasn’t there just now to welcome you. Right now, I’m afraid, you get a choice of one or the other of us. A bit like those plays when the same actor’s playing two parts. You can’t get both me and Emily in the same room at the same time. Rather childish, isn’t it?’
‘This is obviously a bad time for me to have come. I’ll go away, straight after lunch. I’ll stay with my Auntie Katie in Finchley.’
‘What are you talking about? You’re not listening. I just told you. I want you to do me a favour.’
‘I thought that was your way of saying …’
‘No, you idiot, I’m the one who has to clear out. I’ve got to go to a meeting in Frankfurt, I’m flying out this afternoon. I’ll be back in two days, Thursday at the latest. Meanwhile, you stay here. You bring things round, make everything okay again. Then I come back, say a cheerful hello, kiss my darling wife like the last two months haven’t happened, and we pick up again.’
At this point the waitress came to take our order, and after she’d gone Charlie seemed reluctant to take up the subject again. Instead, he fired questions at me about my life in Spain, and each time I told him anything, good or bad, he’d do this sour little smile and shake his head, like I was confirming his worst fears. At one point I was trying to tell him how much I’d improved as a cook – how I’d prepared the Christmas buffet for over forty students and teachers virtually single-handed – but he just cut me off in mid-sentence.
‘Listen to me,’ he said. ‘Your situation’s hopeless. You’ve got to hand in your notice. But first, you have to get your new job lined up. This Portuguese depressive, use him as a go-between. Secure the Madrid post, then ditch the apartment. Okay, here’s what you do. One.’
He held up his hand and began counting off each instruction as he made it. Our food arrived when he still had a couple of fingers to go, but he ignored it and carried on till he’d finished. Then as we began to eat, he said:
‘I can tell you won’t do any of this.’
‘No, no, everything you say is very sound.’
‘You’ll go back and carry on just the same. Then we’ll be here again in a year’s time and you’ll be moaning about exactly the same things.’
‘I wasn’t moaning …’
‘You know, Ray, there’s only so much other people can suggest to you. After a certain point, you’ve got to take charge of your life.’
‘Okay, I will, I promise. But you were saying earlier, something about a favour.’
‘Ah yes.’ He chewed his food thoughtfully. ‘To be honest, this was my real motive in inviting you over. Of course, it’s great to see you and all of that. But for me, the main thing, I wanted you to do something for me. After all you’re my oldest friend, a life-long friend …’
Suddenly he began eating again, and I realised with astonishment he was sobbing quietly. I reached across the table and prodded his shoulder, but he just kept shovelling pasta into his mouth without looking up. When this had gone on for a minute or so, I reached over and gave him another little prod, but this had no more effect than my first one. Then the waitress appeared with a cheerful smile to check on our food. We both said everything was excellent and as she went off, Charlie seemed to become more himself again.
‘Okay, Ray, listen. What I’m asking you to do is dead simple. All I want is for you to hang about with Emily for the next few days, be a pleasant guest. That’s all. Just until I get back.’
‘That’s all? You’re just asking me to look after her while you’re gone?’
‘That’s it. Or rather, let her look after you. You’re the guest. I’ve lined up some things for you to do. Theatre tickets and so on. I’ll be back Thursday at the latest. Your mission’s just to get her in a good mood and keep her that way. So when I come in and say, “Hello darling,” and hug her, she’ll just reply, “Oh hello, darling, welcome home, how was everything,” and hug me back. Then we can carry on as before. Before all this horrible stuff began. That’s your mission. Quite simple really.’
‘I’m happy to do anything I can,’ I said. ‘But look, Charlie, are you sure she’s in the mood to entertain visitors? You’re obviously going through some sort of crisis. She must be as upset as you are. Quite honestly, I don’t understand why you asked me here right now.’
‘What do you mean, you don’t understand? I’ve asked you because you’re my oldest friend. Yes, all right, I’ve got a lot of friends. But when it comes down to it, when I thought hard about it, I realised you’re the only one who’d do.’
I have to admit I was rather moved by this. All the same, I could see there was something not quite right here, something he wasn’t telling me.
‘I can understand you inviting me to stay if you were both going to be here,’ I said. ‘I can see how that would work. You’re not talking to each other, you invite a guest as a diversion, you both put on your best behaviour, things start to thaw. But it’s not going to work in this case, because you’re not going to be here.’
‘Just do it for me, Ray. I think it might work. Emily’s always cheered up by you.’
‘Cheered up by me? You know, Charlie, I want to help. But it’s possible you’ve got this a bit wrong. Because I get the impression, quite frankly, Emily isn’t cheered up by me at all, even at the best of times. The last few visits here, she was … well, distinctly impatient with me.’
‘Look, Ray, just trust me. I know what I’m doing.’
&
nbsp; *
Emily was at the flat when we returned. I have to admit, I was taken aback at how much she’d aged. It wasn’t just that she’d got significantly heavier since my last visit: her face, once so effortlessly graceful, was now distinctly bulldoggy, with a displeased set to the mouth. She was sitting on the living-room sofa reading the Financial Times, and got up rather glumly as I came in.
‘Nice to see you, Raymond,’ she said, kissing me quickly on the cheek, then sitting down again. The whole way she did this made me want to blurt out a profuse apology for intruding at such a bad time. But before I could say anything, she thumped the space beside her on the sofa, saying: ‘Now, Raymond, sit down here and answer my questions. I want to know all about what you’ve been up to.’
I sat down and she began to interrogate me, much as Charlie had done in the restaurant. Charlie, meanwhile, was packing for his journey, drifting in and out of the room in search of various items. I noticed they didn’t look at each other, but neither did they seem so uncomfortable being in the same room, despite what he’d claimed. And although they never spoke directly to each other, Charlie kept joining in the conversation in an odd, once-removed manner. For instance, when I was explaining to Emily why it was so difficult to find a flat-mate to share my rent burden, Charlie shouted from the kitchen:
‘The place he’s in, it’s just not geared up for two people! It’s for one person, and one person with a bit more money than he’ll ever have!’
Emily made no response to this, but must have absorbed the information, because she then went on: ‘Raymond, you should never have chosen an apartment like that.’
This sort of thing continued for at least the next twenty minutes, Charlie making his contributions from the stairs or as he passed through to the kitchen, usually by shouting out some statement that referred to me in the third person. At one point, Emily suddenly said:
‘Oh, honestly Raymond. You let yourself be exploited left, right and centre by that ghastly language school, you let your landlord rip you off silly, and what do you do? Get in tow with some airhead girl with a drink problem and not even a job to support it. It’s like you’re deliberately trying to annoy anyone who still gives a shit about you!’